In most cases, breaking a bad habit is not the issue; the real issue is becoming aware that you actually have one. This is a major concern because you can never find a solution to a problem you do not believe exists. Some people will be going through a lot of difficult times just because of a particular bad habit which they keep neglecting and believing that it’s nothing. Even when you try to open their eyes to it, they keep on telling you that it doesn’t matter. Even when a bad habit that doesn’t matter has actually claimed a large part of their lives in a very negative way, they still tell you words like “God forbid” and “It’s not my portion”
Why self-awareness is the first step toward change
Believe me when I tell you that 80% of the life challenges you are facing today are due to bad habits. It is not always about the village people or the enemies of progress. But the question is, are you ready to recognise and pay attention to this bad habit, and then consider doing something about it? And this will be the beginning of your freedom and redemption.
If I must be brutally honest with you, breaking bad habits is not easy at all. Trust me, it can be a difficult task, especially when the habit has eaten so deeply into you over time. Nevertheless, it can be difficult, but not impossible.
The major reason I’m writing this blog post is to open your eyes to some of those bad habits and toxic life patterns that can destroy you slowly and silently. So, let’s get straight to it.
Constant Overthinking and Negative Thinking
Personally, I’m not completely against overthinking because I don’t see anything wrong with it. Even I won’t deny that I’m an overthinker. But here is where the major problem lies: Many people do not know how to observe and control their thoughts. They have carelessly developed a very toxic and negative pattern of thinking that steals their joy and drains their energy every other time.
Your thinking pattern can actually make or break you. Yes, because everything we do or achieve in life starts from the mind, and the mind itself operates with thoughts and visualisation. This is why I said your thoughts can make or break you. Which means that it’s only you who can be honest enough with yourself, realise that your thinking pattern is bad. Then it’s high time you started working towards getting it right, because overthinking negatively could be that very bad habit that’s holding you back right now.
Do everything you can to distract yourself from your worries, because they can only worsen your situation. It will never give you any good results. It can even lead you to a very bad health condition.
People-Pleasing at the Cost of Your Happiness
A lot of people are always guilty of this, but they see it as ‘having a good heart’; you cannot have a good heart at the expense of your own joy and happiness. Believe me, it’s a total waste of time and energy because in most cases, the people you want to sacrifice your time, your happiness or even your health would never value it; maybe because they think it’s their right or that they are entitled to whatever you are doing to them.
Learn to have a strong mind of your own. Learn to say ‘no’ when you have to. And protect your heart against manipulators.
Believe me, many people are very good at manipulating their fellow human beings. In fact, if you meet this set of people, you will see that the number one reason they want to make you their friend and even stick to you is if they have, in any way at all, realised that they can easily manipulate you. One thing they will never do is engage with anyone they cannot manipulate.
I don’t want to use the word wicked, but I would have loved to tell you that you should learn to be wicked sometimes, especially towards manipulators. They never cared about you, and all they want is to grab as much as they can from you and still see you as weak, simply because they have seen you cannot resist them.
Comparing Your Life to Other People
This is a very bad habit which a whole lot of people are guilty of. The worst part is that they do this comparison without considering some necessary factors that could surround the other person’s growth. They always take delight in making baseless, blind comparisons.
Every right-thinking person understands that it is so unreasonable to compare, because we are all running our individual race, and the truth is that, provided you are running your race with intention, diligence and focus, your time will surely come. Yes, it will come, but it is only a matter of time. And that is where we should all pay more attention.
Each of us has our own timing and schedule, and we are all running our own race. Do not compare yourself to anyone, for you do not know what they went through or all the hurdles they had to overcome to get to the point you are seeing them today.
Living in Constant Fear of Failure
The major issue here is that you are unaware of the effects fear can have on you and your growth. Yes, I understand that it is human to be afraid of whatever faces you as a challenge, but what if I tell you that the first step in solving this problem or finding a lasting solution is to address the fear syndrome? The first place to start fixing your problem is in your mind, and remember that fear is a thing of the mind.
Let me be brutally honest with you. Until you learn and get used to the worst-case-scenario mindset, fear will continue to stare you in the face and never stop tormenting you. Always expect the best, but still prepare your mind for the worst, because whatever happens will still happen. All you can do is put in the proper effort as a human and leave the rest to the universe.
Do not fear failure; there are critical life lessons that only failure teaches. Do your best in everything and remain open to everything, but always bear in mind that no condition is permanent.
Carrying Bitterness and Unforgiveness
Well, I don’t want to be among those who might sound so harsh to you, or make you feel like an outlaw for not letting go so easily. This is because I understand how hard it can be to let go of what someone has done to you, especially when it comes from the greatest disappointment from someone you trust and love so dearly.
Sometimes, when people talk about forgiving and letting go, it sounds so easy and simple in their mouths. But the truth is that forgiveness and letting go can be among the most difficult tasks anyone can take on. Sometimes, people will intentionally hurt you and still come back to you to gaslight and manipulate you into forgiving them. At times, they will even go so far as to force you to forgive them. They will even remind you that forgiving them is only for your own good.
Now, let us look at it this way: if you ask me, I will tell you to try as much as possible to let go and forgive from your heart. Yes, you have to do that because it will help to lessen the burden of bitterness and resentment on your body. But here is your consolation: I want you always to remember that, yes, you might have forgiven them, but Kammer does not forgive. Kammer does not hear or understand the word ‘I am sorry’, so rest assured that they will surely reap what they have sown in a hundred foes.
Summary
Stop trivialising or negating that bad habit of yours. Firstly, you have to accept that it is a bad, or even very bad, habit. Then make sure you start considering the negative and unfortunate situations it has already exposed you to, and those it will expose you to in the future. Consider what could become of you if you ever let this bad habit of yours get the better of you or continue to take control of you.
By the time you consider all of this, you will have the motivation and burning desire to discipline yourself and work tirelessly to bring them under total control. Remember that sometimes the effect of these bad habits feels like nothing until it becomes something.
Be determined to stop it. Make up your mind to do whatever it takes to face it head-on, including prayers and do not relent in your fight for your freedom.
This is where we draw the curtain for today. We would like to hear from you. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section. Also, feel free to share this post so others can learn from it, too.
Forgive and Forget is a very hard decision to make but it gives one peace and sanity and being afraid isn’t abnormal in humans💯