Many people try to build a life of abundance and success while still stuck in survival mode. This can lead to a lot of frustration. It can feel like you’re trying to push a boulder up a hill and that you’re not actually getting anywhere. This is what happens when people, before addressing their internal state, try to force positivity into their brain and brute-force their way into a life of success and abundance.
And I found this can just make things even worse. So, in this article, I’m going to explain why abundance flows to a relaxed nervous system and how to actually get into a state- a relaxed state where your nervous system can calm down so that you can create the reality that you desire from a state of already feeling good now.
How Survival Mode and a Dysregulated Nervous System Affect Your Life
So in my own experience, I went through many, many years where I had an extremely dysregulated internal state. It got so bad that I went into a state of depersonalization or derealization, where nothing felt real, and I didn’t feel real. And this is what happens when your nervous system gets so dysregulated that your system can’t even handle it, and then you dissociate.
And basically, at its core, it’s an extreme state of anxiety. And around this time, when I was in this extremely dysregulated state, I was just starting to get into the law of attraction and manifestation. I was reading books about thinking positively and manifesting.
So I thought, all right, well, this is the key, you know, this is the secret. Because right now I’m doing extremely bad. And if I can just really grasp this and do this well, then I’m going to finally be feeling good again, and I’m going to be able to create the reality that I desire.
And so I started trying to think positive all day long. And what I actually discovered is the harder I would try to constantly force my state to be good and relaxed, the more stressed I became and the more and the worse my nervous system would get.
And as I said at the start of this post, it felt extremely frustrating because I was trying so hard, and I was doing everything I was told to do, and not only was my reality not getting better, it actually just kept descending into feeling worse and worse, and I was feeling more and more disconnected than I’d ever felt before.
And so this led me on this quest: how do I feel good again? You know, how, how do I get back to a high state of being where I feel relaxed, at peace, joyful, happy? And I would set out on this quest to find the magic bullet, right? Like, what is the golden-ticket piece of advice I need to know? That will finally change everything for me. And that right there, my friend, that is the trap.
Why Forcing Positivity and Trying to Fix Yourself Can Make Things Worse
I’m going to unpack this for you because this is a very deep truth that I’ve come to understand. How to actually get your nervous system to calm down, get into a highly relaxed state, and be able to manifest your desires. And it’s that any technique you use? Any effort you put forth implies, first of all, that something is broken and you need a technique to fix it.
So for example, my nervous system was extremely dysregulated, and I was constantly looking for the proper technique to make it go back to normal. In other words, I was constantly treating my nervous system as if it was a problem. You know, like, this is a significant issue in my experience. I can’t have this. This is bad.
So I need to use something. I need some kind of formula or technique as a means to feel better. But that is the exact thing that perpetuates the problem itself. Is treating yourself and your Interstate like it’s something that needs to be fixed, that if you can just change enough.
You know, if you try hard enough. That it’s all going to come together. And when you do this, what you’re really saying to your nervous system is that it’s a problem. That it’s a threat. That the way you’re living is a problem and it’s a threat.
So the weird paradox is that the more you try to fix yourself, the more you’re constantly trying to do something to get better. The worst things tend to become. Because trying to fix yourself implies that there’s something broken in the first place. But you aren’t broken.
There’s nothing wrong with you. For example, let’s take your nervous system, and in my case, the extreme anxiety that I was experiencing in the depersonalization. I was put into that state through a state of war. You know, where I was constantly resisting my experience, and I was following and believing in all of my anxious thoughts. Now, does this mean I’m a broken person that needs to fix something? No, it just means that I got caught up in the human condition, and I was doing things that were against the natural flow of what was going on inside of me.
And with your thoughts. If your thoughts are saying something negative, something you find concerning and unwelcome. Does that mean there’s anything wrong with you or that something needs to be fixed? No, it just means that you have been installed with a certain type of belief. And you have been reinforcing certain self-talk that is now coming up in this moment.
The Power of Acceptance: Stop Fighting Your Inner Experiences
So when you’re constantly treating yourself and your inner self like it’s something you need to fix, from this inherent, from this deeper underlying belief that I’m broken. Then you keep putting off living the life you want until some future day. You know, once I just do enough of this, once I try hard enough, once I put in enough effort, I will finally be OK. I’ll finally get to be able to live how I want to.
With all this being said, what truly made the difference for me? It was starting to stop treating myself like something that needed to be fixed and to stop doing nothing about these unwanted experiences. And when I say do nothing. What it really means is to fully accept that’s what doing nothing is.
You completely allow something to be as it is. In this case, a dysregulated nervous system without feeling like it needs to be fixed or changed. Then you fully allow it to be as it is in that moment. That removes it as a problem. You’re not saying that it’s a problem. You’re actually welcoming it like a friend.
Now in this moment, you’re saying you are welcome too. At the core of my philosophy is not treating anything in our experience like an enemy. Negative thoughts are not an enemy. Negative emotions are not an enemy. A dysregulated state is not our enemy. The second we treat it like one, we go to war with what is, and we stay locked in a state of resistance, which just persists the problem more and more and more, and not only persists it, but it amplifies the problem.
So when you let go of their needing to be some golden goose, you know, when I find the golden ticket technique the right, you know, just give me something I can do that’s finally going to make it all better. That is a completely wrong mindset to have when you don’t need to make it better. When you do nothing about it. You don’t resist, you don’t try to fight, you don’t try to fix, you don’t try to change. When you just be with reality as reality is, that is when you start moving into a much higher state of being. Because you realise that you’re actually whole right now.
And that nothing needs to be fixed for you to be whole and complete. That you just existing is enough. The thing is, when you start living in an abundant state now. Before your reality has come forth, you know whatever desired reality you have. You feel like the desired reality you’re aiming for will finally let you feel at peace. That will allow you to feel whole and happy. But you can feel whole, happy and at peace right now. You can drop the effort. You don’t have to feel like this experience has to be different. And when you do that, you sink into the present moment. You fall into yourself as the conscious space of awareness that sees. The mind and emotions are fully whole and complete right now.
Why Abundance Begins with Your Internal State, Not Forced Positivity
When you’re already living in this abundance, or abundance flocks your way, it flows towards you. So that’s why you try to create reality- a reality that you desire- trying to create abundance and success. By just brute-forcing it and putting so much effort into trying and just bashing those positive thoughts into your brain.
But under the surface, you know you’re dysregulated, you’re in survival mode, you’re not feeling well, you’re not at peace, you’re not relaxed. You’re not happy. I’ve found, in my experience, that it simply doesn’t work. I mean, I’ve tried. I’ve tried everything, you know; I’ve been down this path for thousands and thousands and thousands of hours. I’ve been doing this for years. I’ve tried all that.
At times, I even had success with the brute-force technique. But it was almost like an elastic band that just snapped me back to my actual state, if that makes sense. Like, for example, many years ago I built a business that was doing 15,000 a month. It was a social media-led business, and I did it through pure, just brute force, the power of will. I was bashing so much gosh-darn positivity into my brain, and I was, you know, doing it all day long.
But deep down, I didn’t feel well. I didn’t feel good. And I was not actually doing very well inside. That whole business collapsed on itself, and I ended up in a much worse place before it even became successful. Because I got snapped back to my true state of being, where I was actually resting, which was a state of tension, fear and force.
Anyway, that’s my experience with all this, and I hope it helped.
